It might be a lie of omission. "Uh oh. That really noisy toy you have isn't working." Maybe it "isn't working" because you needed a battery for the t.v. remote, and that toy has been on your kill list for a while now. That counts as a lie.
Some parents tell white lies "Wow! What a beautiful picture!" Is it really a beautiful picture? Or does it look exactly like the drawerful of other monochromatic scribbles your two year old has handed you over the past month. Of course you love your precious baby's artwork, but even you know it's not going into an art museum any time soon. So technically, you lied
Some of us just straight-up bald face lie to our kids. Let me give an example other than that tired old "Santa" lie. My dad has an abnormally long, almost hook-shaped scar from his appendix being removed as a boy. All five of his children, and two of his three grandchildren, have seen it and asked about it. All of us have gotten the same answer. "That's where Captain Hook got me when I was fighting him on his pirate ship." Yup, my dad led all of us to believe that he fought Captain Hook... on his pirate ship... wait a minute! That must mean he's Peter Pan! I don't think I need to explain that this is a huge lie. (Shout out to my dad. Love you! Love that story!)
I have to admit. I lie all these kinds of lies, and probably more, to my children, but that's not what this is about. My problem is that it's already getting harder to lie to them! My oldest just turned four! What is going on? I should have a few more years of lies left, right?
I noticed things were going down hill fast for me just a few days ago. It seems like the biggest time I lie is when I am trying to get Jude to eat. He is my picky eater, so I will say just about anything to get him to eat. Gideon and Abby will eat just about anything, so they are never the concern.
Well, the other day, I was making lunch and I realized my produce was getting low. I didn't have any carrot sticks. I didn't have any "broccoli trees." I didn't have any lettuce to make a salad. Was I really out of apples and bananas? Uh oh. Looks like I am going to have to serve canned veggies. You should know that Jude has two arch enemies: Meat, and Canned Vegetables. What was I going to do? He needed to eat something! Well, he was just going to have eat the french cut green beans. just in case you forgot what those look like, let me refresh your memory:
 |
I decided to give the green beans a cool new name. I gave Jude and Gideon their plates. Giddy didn't even seem to notice the green slimy veggies that were plopped down next to his entree. Jude, on the other hand, couldn't see anything but that wet mound of... something on his plate. "Mommy! I don't like that!" He knows he isn't supposed to say stuff like that, but he does anyway. "You don't know if you don't like it. You've never tried it. It's... dinosaur food! All the dinosaurs on Dinosaur Train love to eat it!" Gideon said "No they don't." Thanks a lot, Giddy. He's supposed to back up my story by eating those soggy strings of bean.
Jude looks at me like I am an idiot, then looks at the green beans, then back at me, then back at his plate. Finally, Jude just sits up and says "That looks like green beans." Busted. I must be getting sloppy with my lies, or maybe Jude is just getting smarter. "Fine." I say defeated "They are green beans. And you still have to try them"
I might be a liar, but hey, my kids still have to at least try everything I give them.
Are there any lies you regularly tell your kids, or am I just a monster?
Chyan
I will often set the timer for "5 minutes" and really set it for 3 or 4. Ellie hasn't caught on yet. And currently, all veggies are garden veggies. She learned to love garden tomatoes so now all the tomatoes I offer her are "garden matos" (a major tomato manufacturing field is a garden right?)
ReplyDeleteI also often eat chocolate "with mint" because Ellie doesn't like mint. Good thing she can't read the package yet.
Ah yes, "with mint." I say things are coffee flavored when I don't want to share
DeleteAnd we don't do the Santa lie. I told her a long time ago there was a really nice man who wanted to give kids presents so he snuck into their houses at night and hid them in their socks as a surprise. I told her that some families like to pretend that man is still alive and brings them presents. She wanted to pretend too so we do the Santa gift and stocking stuffers. I just asked her to see what she remembers and she said he is real and he really does come down chimneys but we don't have a chimney so he goes down grandma and grandpas chimney at their house. (That is where we do Christmas morning).
ReplyDeleteWe tried being honest about Santa, but Jude was convinced that he was real "just like Spiderman". That is going to have to be a whole different conversation
Delete