An open letter to my daughter

*Disclaimer*

I am generally not a huge fan of open letters. I find that the writer of the  open letter often feels the need to make the letter public for two reasons:

1.The author is hoping to use the letter to persuade the recipient to change something, and knows that publicly calling someone out will make it harder for the recipient to deny the request or cause. The person sending the letter knows that the person receiving the letter will most likely not have a change of heart in the matter. However the recipient could possibly do what the author asks, even if just to avoid more “bad press”. 

2.The author is either unable or too scared to address the recipient privately and/or in person.

I realize there are occasionally positive open letters that wish to shine a light on those so deserving of positive attention. This is not one of those letters.

Why then, am I writing an open letter to my sweet, spunky, beautiful two year daughter? basically for the two the reasons I listed above. I want her to accept my request (whether she actually wants to or not), and… she scares me. Don't let the cute face fool you. She is a force to be reckoned with: physically, mentally, and emotionally.

So, without further ado, my open letter to my daughter:

Dearest Abigail,

I had hoped it wouldn’t come to this. I was confident that we could deal with this in a more civilized manner, but your lack of cooperation has forced my hand. I am sure you can guess what my complaint is, and I think you also know the solution. But since I have had to be the bigger person since we met, I will continue to be the adult here, and I will (once again) make my request.

Will you PLEASE use potty?

I know you are capable of using both your potty chair and the big-girl toilet. I have seen you do it on enough occasions that I know it was not just a fluke. You are a very smart little girl, with many talents and abilities. If you can turn on a tablet, and use said tablet to take selfies, you can sit on the potty chair to do your business. 

You have made it very clear that you also have control over when and  where you relieve yourself. Three Saturday nights ago, I was tucking you in and I asked if you were excited to play with your friends  at church the next morning. You responded “Yeah! I gonna poop there!” I asked if you were going to use the potty in the nursery, and you said no. You were going to poop on the slide. You knew that even though your diapers have been taken away from you during the day while at home, I would have no choice but to put a diaper on you for church. No one can ever say that you are a liar. The next morning, I was paged from the nursery to come and change your diaper… that you apparently soiled while hiding by the slide. Every outing sense then has been an opportunity for you to, in the words of Princess Elsa, “Let it go”

Seriously, I am really, really, really tired of cleaning up your “accidents.”  Diapers are expensive and unpleasant to handle. What will it take to persuade you to use the potty consistently? Ice cream? A dollar? Five dollars? A new Daisy Duck toy? As you can see, I am not above bribery. Name your price. I am open to negotiation.  

One more thing, I thought that in was in poor taste this morning when you went number one in your potty chair, received cheers and applause, then went directly into the hall closet a left a number two for me to find. Come on Abs, you’re better than that.

With all the love in the world,

Mommy