I might do better next year

First off, it has been way to long since my last blog post. I have wanted to write. At one point I felt like I needed to write, but I have continued to find other ways to fill my time. After far too long of a break, I feel like it's time to start writing again. Maybe it's because I missed writing. Maybe it's because the holidays are over, and I feel like I can decompress a little more now. Maybe it's because I just finished Amy Poehler's book Yes Please, and I feel inspired. Yup, it's definitely  the last one. What can I say? I am easily influenced by awesome women.

Anyway, It's December 31st, and everyone is reflecting, making resolutions, and setting goals for themselves. I have never been great at the whole New Year's Resolution thing. Most people aren't. Year after year, 92% of us make these goals, then crash and burn only two weeks later.

Sometimes we fail because of fear. On New Years Day 2008, I made a resolution to be bold and tell my crush that I was interested in him. I was a freshman in college and he was a junior. What's the worst that could happen? I knew he was a nice guy. I knew that even if he wasn't into the idea, he would let me down gently. I got back to school, saw him, felt myself shrink to about 7 inches tall, and immediately decided that it was a stupid resolution. I then attempted to bury those ridiculous feelings as deep as humanly possible. The fear of being rejected was literally too much for me to bear. Thankfully, by fall 2008, things had worked out on their own, and Shane and I started dating. Now that I think about it, I don't think I have ever told him this story... I guess he can read it here... Hi Honey! I love you!

Sometimes our resolutions get thrown to the wayside because of laziness. Running a marathon seemed like a cool goal. But come on, there is no way I was actually going to run a marathon. I can't even bring myself to jog three times a week. I gave that one up after looking up training schedules and the work out regimen required to complete a physically demanding task like a marathon. 26.2 miles is really far, you guys!

On the rarest of occasions, we don't reach our goals because of circumstances beyond our control. The first New Years Shane and I celebrated as a married couple came about two weeks after we got married. I made a resolution to lose ten pounds of fat and get toned (I miss the days when I was only 10 pounds from my target weight). I did fantastic for about three weeks. I was getting up every morning and really seeing some progress. I was losing weight and feeling great! Then all of a sudden, I was incredibly sick. I would throw up off and on all day, until around 7 PM. Even with this random illness, I was still pushing myself to reach my goal. Weigh in day came, and I have gained three pounds from the last week! How did this happen? Well, apparently I was three weeks pregnant. Yup. I was pregnant with Jude. My honeymoon baby was due in late September. Instead of losing ten pounds, I gained around 50. Yikes. That first pregnancy really did a number on me.

Needless to say, I am not making a resolution this year. I am the worst at them. Instead of doing the whole charade, I am just going to look forward to 2015 with excitement and anticipation. Every year is different and awful and amazing in their own wonderful way. There is so much that can happen in a year. It's 365 mini adventures, and I am looking ahead with an open mind and open heart.

Good luck to all of you with goals and resolutions for this year! I would love to hear what they are, what your secret is to keeping your resolution, and how successful you've been in the past.



Happy New Year!