"If you'd just straighten it"

Can we just talk about how beautiful my daughter is? I know I know I know. Looks shouldn't matter. It's what's on the inside that counts. Everyone is a snow flake. But come on, my daughter is absolutely beautiful, and I think it's okay to acknowledge that.

Abigail has the most wonderfully round cheeks. Her button nose, plump lips, cherub-like physique, long eyelashes, and hazel eyes are enough to make anyone's heart melt. But what really gets me is her curly blond hair. I absolutely love it! It just fits her personality so well! It's spunky, wild, and precious. Her curls are so fantastic, that I like to take pictures of them.  Here's a shot of her curls from the back:

Gorgeous, right? This is what her hair looks like when I let it air-dry, and I leave it alone.  I shared this picture on Facebook a couple of weeks ago, and it was agreed that she is adorable and wonderful. Then a dear friend of mine said something that really shook me.

My friend said that she hopes that Abigail loves and appreciates her natural curls when she gets older. It hit me that most people with curly hair generally learn to hate it. They see it, and they think " I wish I had straight hair." I know this is true, because my hair is naturally very curly. I never really thought much of it. Everyone wanted curly hair in the 90's, so my elementary school style was right on pointe. 

I'm not quite sure when, but there came a time when my curly hair was all of a sudden "ugly." I remember girls telling me that I would look prettier if I would just straighten my hair. Every movie with a transformation story always took an "ugly" girl with curly hair, and a big part of her make over was straightening her hair. With her hair straightened, face painted, and natural self hidden, she was then considered "beautiful." This never sat well with me, and I began to feel like my naturally dark, curly hair (which was the opposite of what I was seeing) was holding me back. My hair was the first thing that made me feel ugly. 

I remember getting a haircut that I was really excited about, and multiple people told me "oh your haircut would be so cute, if you'd just straighten it." I remember begging my mother for a flat iron, and once I got one, I would only wear my hair straight for a long time. Thankfully, I have a husband who loves me and thinks my un-dyed (yup, I 'm one of the few weirdos that have never colored their hair), curly hair is beautiful. He often tells me that I'm beautiful when my hair is mess, and I have no make up on. 

The point of this post is not that my husband thinks I'm pretty, or that I think Abby is beautiful, or that people should like curly hair more. The point of this post is that we should encourage girls from a young age to embrace and appreciate the hair and face they were born with. I know this is not a new idea, but it is something that has recently been weighing down on me. I want my daughter to love her face, hair, and body. I want her to feel beautiful because of her natural hair, not in spite of it.

Am I against using products to enhance our beauty? Absolutely not. I use make up and flat iron my hair often. I just don't want Abigail to feel like she needs to do these things to feel pretty or loved.

Maybe I'm being too sensitive, but I don't think it's too much to ask that all women feel confident, no matter what.

Chyan