Ten babies in my belly

Handsome Jude

Sweet, Cuddly Gideon

Ah pregnancy, such a magical time. For some people. Not once during any of my three pregnancies did I think "I just love being pregnant!" I am not a fan. Don't get me wrong, I love what I get at the end of my forty-ish week torture fest and it's totally worth it( I mean, look at them). But the puking, stretching skin, weird cravings, and emotional roller coaster ride...well, it is just not my idea of a good time. This is why I will be very content if I do not have another baby. Three pregnancies in three years will do that to person.  And, just because I like to brag, I added a picture of each of my babies as newborns.

Abigail (she's even cute when she's covered in gunk)

I think my constant state of being with child has something to do with my latest issues with Jude. Maybe issue is a bit strong. Let's just say we have the same conversation about six times a day, every day. You see, Jude remembers my pregnancy with Abby vividly and he claims he remembers when we brought Gideon home from the "hos-pip-al," but I don't know how accurate that is, since he was only 12 1/2 months when Gideon was born. Anyway, me having a baby in my belly was a very big deal for a very long time. Then, all of a sudden, there was no baby in my belly anymore. Jude seemed to understand fairly well that now Mommy's belly was empty, and Baby Abby lived out here with us now.

Well, I guess Jude thinks ten months is long enough, and it's time to fill up my womb again. For the past couple of weeks, Jude keeps asking me "Mommy, do you have a baby in your belly" "Mommy, do you have two babies in your belly?" He even got Gideon in on the whole thing. Now Gideon is asking me as well. Except, Giddy asks a bit more crudely "You got babies in you?" or "Gotta baby in there?" Classy Giddy, classy.

I have explained to them multiple times, in multiple ways, that I am not pregnant. In fact, I might not get pregnant again. Jude just would not let up! I finally asked him if he wanted me to have another baby, and then he could have another baby brother or sister. "No! No way Mommy! I don't want more babies here in my house!" Why then, does he want me to have more babies in my belly? Just for fun. He says they can just live in me, and maybe Abby can go back and visit them because she is still a little baby. I am not making a hyperbolic joke. This is literally something Jude has said to me more than once.

Just this morning, Jude greeted me by asking if I had a baby in my belly yet. I said no. Then he proceeded to ask me, "Do you have two babies? Three babies? Six babies? DO YOU HAVE TEN BABIES IN YOUR BELLY?!?!" Shane was in the other room getting ready for work, and he heard the entire conversation. He thought maybe he should chime in. "Boys, your mom can't have ten babies in her belly. What do you think she is, a cat?" Then he tells me "I got your back, honey."
I thought Shane gave the boys a pretty great answer, but now Gideon is asking me if I can be a cat. Oh boy.

Hopefully Jude's fascination with me procreating gets eclipsed by some other unpredictable fascination soon.

Chyan

PS. A big thank you to everyone who gave game suggestions yesterday. The kids and I tried them out, and we now have some new favorites to add in the mix!

Games! Games! Games! (Sing it like Motley Crue's Girls Girls Girls)

Today, I am going to talk about the games we all play. Before you roll your eyes and write this post off, just hear me out. I promise, I am not talking about drama, or manipulation, or anything of the sort. What I am talking about are the games that every parent of small children play. My tiny people love games! Abigail is at the age where the only games she cares about are This Little Piggy, Pat-a-Cake, and Peek-a-Boo. Jude and Gideon, on the other hand, are an entirely different story.

My boys love playing games. Simon Says is played at least four times a week in this house. Don't get me wrong, I love playing with my kids, but there are only so many commands Simon can say before Simon loses it. I thought I came up with a great solution. You see, after hundreds of games of Simon Says, Jude thought he might like a turn at being Simon. I couldn't contain my excitement at thought of not having to come up with commands! Well, things did not go quite as planned. Here is what Jude's first turn at Simon sounded like: "Simon say... be a lego! No Mommy, a lego! Mommy! You're not a lego! No! Like this!"  I didn't realize that be a lego was even something Simon could tell his followers to do, and I am not convinced that Jude knew what he wanted me to do until he saw me do everything he didn't want me to do.

Okay, it was his first try. He just needs a little help coming up with things to shout out, right? Wrong. He had a baker's dozen ideas, but I think he was only happy with the way I performed twice. It's not my fault! Jude wanted me to do the impossible. He expected me to literally fly when he said "be a super hero!" Does that seem fair to you? I don't think so, either. It is much more stressful to do what Simon says than I thought.

Another very popular game in our house is Hide and Seek. This game is enjoyed just as much by me as it is my kids. They are just so awful at it, that I can't help but love every second of us playing together. Gideon never, ever hides on his own. He usually just stands by me and counts along with me when it's my turn to seek, then says "Hey, find me." When I am supposed hide, he just sort of sits near me... completely out in the open... talking and giggling the entire time. It is just so precious. Jude on the other hand, takes hiding very seriously. When it is time for him to hide, he moves quickly and quietly to the exact same hiding spot he has gone to since we moved in to our current house. I can always guarantee that Jude will be hiding on his brother's bed, head covered in his own blue sheet, sitting straight up. It is so cute and dependable.That is, until a couple days ago.

Even before he could walk, Jude loved hiding

We were not even playing hide and seek at this point. I was making lunch, and all the kids were playing in the living room. Lunch was ready, and I walked into the living room to gather up the kiddos to eat, but Jude wasn't there. He wasn't in the bathroom. He wasn't in the play room. He wasn't in his room. The last room to check was my room. I was starting to get worried, so I was really hoping he was in there. I didn't see Jude. "Jude honey,the where are you???" I asked in a voice that seemed too shrill to actually be mine.  I then heard his muffled voice "I'm in your closest, Mommy.I want you to find me for hide and seek!" I just wish I had known we were playing before I started hyperventilating.

There is one other game I want to briefly mention. Candy Land. If you are not familiar with Candy Land, it is basically the easiest board game ever invented. You just draw a card and move to the closest space on the board that matches the card you pulled. Wait, if  you're not familiar with Candy Land, you probably live under a rock.  Anyway, I wanted so badly for the boys to love this game as much as I did when I was little. Gideon really didn't have any interest in sitting down and playing a board game, and Jude was not grasping the concept.

I was so excited to set up the board and have everyone pick out the game piece they wanted to use. Jude, of course, chose the little orange guy and refused to put him down until it was his turn to choose a card. Gideon then chose every other game piece available. I asked if he could just choose one, and his response was "no no no no, Momma. These ALL mine" I tried to explain that he at least needed to give up one, so that I could play, too. Jude informed me that I should just watch. Disappointed, I agreed to just sit and help. It was Jude's turn first. He pulled a red card. "No, I want all orange cards. Please, Mommy!" I started to tell him that he had to take whatever card he had pulled, but Gideon was already on it. "Okay," Gideon said as he pulled out every single orange card from the pile. "Here you go, you win!" I guess Jude won, and it will be a few weeks before we try that game again.

I am in desperate need of some new games to play. Any suggestions?
Chyan

All the dang slang

Slang. It's not a new concept. It's been around forever. Actually, according to the Online Etymology Dictionary, slang started in 1756 as the "special vocabulary of tramps and thieves"1

Now, everyone uses some form of slang. I use a ton of it! It's actually becoming a real problem. It always starts the the same way. I hear a new slang term or phrase and I think to myself, "That's stupid, Why would you need to abbreviate that?"  Or "In what universe does this word mean that?" I am so pompous about the whole thing, too. I will tell others how dumb these new sayings are, and I will use them once or twice in jest. That's when the trouble starts.

I let these words infiltrate my vocabulary, and then I can't stop! I use a phrase once as a joke. It was funny, so I say it again later to my husband. Maybe it becomes a joke between the two of us, maybe I know it slightly annoys him. Either way, I find myself saying this word or phrase more and more! It has become a part of my everyday vocabulary! I want to stop using them, but I just can't! It becomes like the One Direction songs I hear on the radio. I tell people I hate them, but I secretly love them!

I found this meme a while back, and I feel like it pretty perfectly sums up what I am trying to express.

2

In fact, legit is one of the words I am guilty of saying! It might just be easier to just admit all the slang...

• My bad ~ I say this one so much that my seven year old brother (we spend a lot of time together) now runs around saying "My bad, dawg, my bad!" Sometimes I even like to shake it up and say "My b" or my recently coined phrase "my biscuit." Why do I do this, you ask, because I have a sickness.
• Redic, Redonk ~ Because saying "ridiculous" just takes up  too much valuable time, and I am a busy person... I'm lying...
• Totes or Totes ma goats ~ If you saw the commercial with James Earl Jones, and you don't say this, I question your humanity. Seriously, are you a robot?
• Cray-Cray ~ or just Cray. I don't remember the last time I actually said the word "crazy"
• Dip or Dip out ~ I am going to dip out on this list... I worry you are all going to think less of me if I continue.

When I first heard all of these words, I loved to hate them. Now I just hate that I love them. Has this happened to anyone else? Does anyone else out there use slang like the main character in a teen movie? 

Chyan

References / Credits: (because I don't feel like getting sued):
1.http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=slang
2.http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3u79f6

If you haven't been to a parade in a small town, you haven't lived

A few months ago, my family and I moved back to my hometown. It's rural town in Oregon. Population: 3,704 (according to the U.S.  Census Bureau). Our town is small, and, like many small towns, we have a festival every year. What is this festival, you ask? What exciting theme does the entire town take hold of ? What festival do the City Counsel and townspeople alike plan for an entire year and took place just this last weekend?

The Corn Festival. Yes, the Corn Festival. 

Laugh if you must, but this is the biggest thing going on in the area that weekend... well, except the State Fair. Yup, we are so confident in our festival that it takes place the weekend the State Fair opens every year. You would think that no one would attend our measly festival, but I'll have you know the Corn Festival almost  quadruples the population of the town for one day. Not too shabby! Maybe it draws the crowds because of the free corn, maybe it's the forty four years of tradition... or maybe it's the parade that kicks off the festival.

The parade is my favorite of the festival for many reasons. First off, I've been going since I was a kid, so the parade was a big part of my childhood. Secondly, it's a really tiny town, so you are bound to know a ton of people participating in the parade. Third, it usually has a pun-filled theme. This year's theme was "The Corn Festival Parade: Every Ear Gets Better!" Get it? Ear replaced the word year, because it's called an ear of corn... I guess it really doesn't need over explaining  Lastly, we still get candy chucked at us from the floats passing by! 

I didn't realize getting candy at a parade was dying tradition until I started watching the parade with people from other areas. Apparently, other towns see it as a safety hazard so candy tossing got nixed long ago. I will live with the dangers of getting pelted in the face with a piece of taffy, and I will just remember not to run out into the middle of the street for a stray piece of candy and get hit by the parade floats. Getting candy and free treats at a parade is awesome, and the Corn Festival Parade really stepped up their game this year! Not only did my kids come home with a bag full of candy, we also got a sweet water bottle cozy, and a pepperoni stick!

Why a pepperoni stick, you ask? There was a local butcher shop (that also makes house calls, just in case you were wondering) that was in the parade this year, and instead of handing out candy, they walked around passing out pepperoni sticks. This might seem weird to you, but it made the parade for Gideon! That boy will eat anything, but he isn't really that crazy about sweets. When that pepperoni stick touched his hand, his face lit up. "I got meat!" he exclaimed. Later that day, my brother stopped by my house, and he asked the boys if they had fun at the parade. They were both excited to tell him about the horses they saw, a giant rubber ducky that was in the parade, and the bat mobile they saw. My brother then asked the kids if they got a lot of candy. "Yeah! And MEAT!"

You may also be interested to know, that we don't bother stopping traffic on the side-streets to the parade. Oh sure, we shut down Main street, but that's about it. I literally saw the parade stop twice to let cars pass through. Was it time consuming? Sure. Was it also really funny to watch? Absolutely! 

Another awesome thing about small town parades is you might get a chance to have your picture taken with one of our "local celebrities" 

This was the first time I have attended the festival in about five years, because I had been living out of the area. The last time I attended the parade, I had helped my home church put the finishing touches on their rocking '50s children's ministry float. Well, as I was working, I heard a voice behind me. I turned around, and it was the Honorable Mayor! Obviously, I had to get evidence of this magical moment, so I made him take a picture with me. As you can see, he was more than willing to play along with my nonsense. Look at a young me, making a fool out of myself... ah to be twenty again...

That wouldn't happen everywhere. You gotta love small towns!

Chyan

Hello, I am a giant weeping mess... I mean a mom

Is it just me, or do kids make you weak? I don't just mean physically weak, but they do that, too! I haven't had any measurable core strength since December of 2009. Okay, I think I may be partly to blame for that. This is not about exercise, core strength, or blasting your glutes. This post is about the fact that I haven't been able to go an entire week without crying since Jude was born! I used to be tough. I used to only cry over things that should be cried over. I didn't even cry at my wedding, and that is a perfectly acceptable occasion to cry.  Now, I am like a geyser of emotions.

Now, I don't want to give you the wrong idea. I am not in a constant state of sadness or anger. In fact, I have many different kinds of cries. I have shed tears of anger, tears of sadness, tears, of joy, tears of surprise, tears of confusion, tears of fear, tears of "this soldier just gave his family or dog a surprise homecoming" (I can't watch one of those videos without bawling), tears of overwhelming pride, tears of exhaustion, and tears of unconditional love. While reading this list, it may seem like most of my crying is warranted. Let me assure you, that is not always the case.

Last week, I was watching an episode of FRIENDS that I have seen infinity times, and I just started weeping! While crying, I had this insane thought: "Monica and Chandler just want a baby! Why can't things just work out for them? Why is life so unfair?!?!" Yup, I was bawling over a television show that aired it's season finale over ten years ago. Like I said, I have seen this episode before. I know what happens (SPOILER ALERT... but, if you haven't caught up yet on a show that started when I was in  Kindergarten, this kind of seems on you). I know they adopt twins shortly after this episode. I also know that Monica and Chandler are fictional characters! They never have, and never will, exist in real-life! Why, oh why, would I get so emotional over something so trivial?

I will give you three reasons why I have become the bawling basket case I am today: Jude, Gideon, and Abigail. Ever since I started having babies, my heart has become especially soft toward anything involving children, babies, and families. There are two photos here.One  I snapped a few months ago of Gideon pretending to read to Abby at my parent's house. The whole thing was so cute, and Giddy was being so incredibly sweet to his baby sister, that  I couldn't help but well up a bit. The other picture is of Jude at Discovery Club at church. It was his first time in a
classroom-like setting,  and he got an award for behaving so well!If you look closely, you may be able to see some of those tears of pride I mentioned.

Situations like this usually cause my eyes to silently (or mostly silently) well up and maybe shed just a few tears. However, there comes a time when I just need to full-on ugly cry. I try not to do this often, because it is so bad, but sometimes it just has to happen. Maybe "ugly" isn't the right word. My crying can turn hideous, messy, heinous, puffy, snotty, hysterical, and just down-right wretched! Sounds cute, right? I have never been a pretty crier, and honestly, I cannot understand how a person can cry, like really cry, and still look presentable. Are these pretty criers some sort of super-human/ mythical creature hybrid? Either way, I am jealous of their ability to cry and not look like a psychopath.

I guess I should just get used to the water works. Has anyone else turned into a sobbing softy since becoming a parent? Or am I just a weeping weirdo?

Chyan

Clichés are hard to talk about without being cliché

It's my own fault, really. I was the one who had three kids so close together, and I was the one who took said kids out it public. It was bound to happen. You can't be a young(ish) mom without hearing at least one person's opinion about your family masked in clichés. This time, it was me, my three kids and my much younger, recently adopted, brother and sister (another story for another for another time) walking into the corner store near my home. As I was reminding all the kids that we were not going to beg for anything in the store, a man who was probably in his early fifties stopped us before we could even enter the market. 

"Excuse me, Miss?" he asked. I turned around to see his wide eyes staring at me and my legion of minors. "Are all of these YOUR kids?" I was a little taken back. First of all, I look young enough to call be called Miss, but at the same time look old enough to have five kids? The oldest of the kids bing an eight year old girl? Hmmm. Secondly, why does this guy I've never met care how many kids I have? Come on dude, ever heard of "Stranger Danger?"

"Well, the three smallest are mine" I replied, as I was trying to politely back step away from the conversation. Then it happened. That canned response that always makes me cringe. "Wow. You really have your hands full."  The kids weren't even being a "handful" when this guy bestowed his opinion upon me. Now, this gentleman seemed nice enough, and I am sure he didn't mean anything by his comment, but it's the kind of comment I hear every time I am out with my little ones. I have noticed that these comments are usually paired with judgmental glares and condescending tones  that scream things like "you're in away over your head" or "it's your own fault, you know" but what it is mostly being conveyed to me is "your kids are animals." 

Now, of course I'm in over my head. Every parent is in way over their heads! And yes, the amount of children I had was up to me, but it was my choice, not my fault. I am happy I had three kids in three years. It seemed like a good idea at the time, and , at least 50%  of the time, still seems like a good idea. The only thing I have to agree with is that my kids are animals. They are wild, wonderful, crazy, cute, hyper, and happy animals. 

I am not trying to be a downer. Clichés do not bother me as much now as they did when my husband and I first started our family. In fact, some of them are pretty funny to me. Here are a few clichés that give me a good chuckle.

My "twins" 

1. "It's just like having twins!"~ I heard this one a lot when I only had Jude and Gideon. I guess for some people, having babies a year a part is the same as delivering two babies at once, being up all night
with two newborns, and having two crawlers learning how to get into everything at the exact same time. This comment really doesn't bother me, because I know people are just amazed at the idea of siblings being born so close together. The reason this makes me laugh is because I'm pretty sure my friends who have had twins would strongly disagree that having a newborn and a toddler  are the same as having twins. In fact, I'm pretty sure I would get punched in the face if I said that to some of them.

2. "You know what causes that right?"~ I can't help but laugh at this, because I always wonder what the person would say if I looked at them with wide-eyed innocence  and ask, "No! I have been trying to figure it out and I just can't! Will you please explain it to me? Is it something I'm eating?" It would be funny, but I don't think I could say it with out my words dripping with sarcasm. I'm just not that good of an actress.

3. "You're going to miss these moments"~ Yes, I agree. There will be a plethora of things I will miss when my kids grow up. I can promise you that my boys yelling in a restaurant, or  Abby screaming her head off while I try to buckle her into her carseat, are not moments that are going to be missed. Will I miss this age? Yup, absolutely. Will I miss the poopy diapers? That idea is just hilarious to me!

If you have said any of these things to people, no judgement here. I can guarantee I have said plenty of things that drive other people bonkers! In fact "bonkers" is probably one of things that I say that drives other people... bonkers. Now I can't stop using the word bonkers. I better stop while I'm ahead.

Have an amazing weekend!
Chyan

An up close look at my favorite people in the world.

 The other day, I got the idea to start a blog about my funny family. Like I said, this is not really a parenting blog, but it's a blog about the great stuff that happens while parenting. In my almost four years of being "Mommy", I have experienced some pretty hilarious, terrifying, and just all around bizarre  moments. Before I jump into any of those stories, I guess I should introduce those lovable monsters I call my family.

 Photo credit, Chrissy Frank

Shane on our wedding day

First, there's Shane. Shane and I will be married five years in December. He was my college crush, and since then he has become my best friend, my confidant, the love of my life, and my favorite person in the galaxy. He is funny (and I don't mean the regular kind of funny. He is literally the funniest person I have ever met. Saturday Night Live would be lucky to have him), sweet, smart, and has a huge heart for God and others. Shane works his butt off for our family, and then volunteers at church as an assistant pastor in charge of small groups. He is also an amazing dad stellar husband! I love our life together, and I couldn't imagine my life without him. Alright, that's enough of the mushy love stuff. Let's move on to the stars of show. 

Jude and his coach at football practice

Jude is our oldest son. He will be turning four in the early fall, and I just  can't believe it's been almost four years since he first looked at me with those big eyes and melted me into a pile of motherly ooze. Jude is my little introvert. Oh, don't get me wrong, he's a fun and silly little guy, but on his terms. Jude has to really observe you and know you well before giving out any kind of affection, which I can really respect and appreciate. He also never stops moving (which explains why it is so hard to get a picture of him). When he feels like showing it, he has some great athletic ability. Jude loves building with legos, and figuring things out on his own. Oh, he also wants everyone to know he likes the orange and he wants a Spider Man cake for his birthday. What? those things are important!

He's a photogenic little stinker

Next up is Gideon, or Giddy, if you will. Oh Gideon, I'm pretty sure this boy could sell an old cat to a dog lover with cat allergies. He is quite the charmer. Coming just twelve and a half months after Jude,   he had to prove that he was his own person. Giddy will snuggle the socks off you , if given the chance. He loves to make new friends everywhere he goes, and he is quick to entertain (the kid loves to dance for an audience)! Gideon also loves to try to run away from any form of structure. Literally, he runs away! Every time I  pick him up from the nursery at church, I hear "He was so sweet, and so cuddly with the smaller babies! However, he did try escaping about five times." Church is only an hour long, people.

Oh those cheeks!

Last but not least is my sweet baby girl! Abigail was born almost ten months ago, and she has stolen all of our hearts. When I was pregnant with Abby, I was certain I was having another boy. Imagine my excitement when the ultrasound proved me wrong! I never knew how badly I wanted a daughter until I held her for the first time.  Having two older brothers has made Abby one tough cookie! She can wrestle and climb with the best of them. More than once, I have screeched, "Boys! Be gentle with Abby! She's just a baby"while she just smiling and giggling away. She has a way better sense of humor about the boys rough housing with her than I do. Abby is an early talker, and I love hearing all the new words she is learning! Just this morning, she was crawling around saying "all done" in a cute little sing-song voice. All done with what, I have no clue.

For fear of this post being too sweet, I am going to share a silly story to end things.

A few weeks ago, Jude had a very important question to ask me. He has known "what boys have" for quite some time, so naturally he wanted to know "what girls have. " I almost died. I always thought I would handle a situation like this well, because anatomy is not something to be ashamed of or be considered taboo. Why did I freeze? I don't know.  I just kept thinking "be honest, but don't give more information than what he needs at this time".  Well instead, I said "Um... Well... they have... um..". Thankfully, he cut me off before I could make things worse. "Oh yeah! Belly buttons! That what girls have!" Stifling my laugh, I just responded with "Yup! That's exactly what girls have!"

Technically, I didn't lie. Girls DO have belly buttons! I realize I am going to have to better explain this later, but for now I think that was an alright answer from an alright mom.

Chyan

PS. I promise to get a better picture of Jude soon!

Does this make me a writer?

How does one start a blog? I mean, I know how to sign up for a blog. That part's easy. What I mean is, how do you start blogging? Should I introduce myself, even though basically everyone reading this will already know me? Sure let's go with that.

I'm Chyan. I am twenty-five, and I have been married for almost five years to my favorite person in the entire world. I have been a mom for almost four years to three little humans that I am pretty sure are the coolest kids to ever exist in the history of kids. They really are a trip, and I mean that in the best (and some days, worst) possible way.  I have the awesome privilege of seeing my three munchkins change and grow all day, every day. Yup, that's right. You have another stay at home mom thinking she's a blogger on your hands.

Don't worry, this is not an advice or "parenting" blog. I am not going to push any agenda on any reader. It is not my intention to sway your opinion on things that every parent has to deal with on a daily basis. I am not going to scream at you about circumcision, breastfeeding, sleep training, homeschooling/unschooling, or any other topic that we parents seem to be so passionate about. Am I going to occasionally mention some of these things? Of course, because they are a part of every day life. However, I will not try to convince you that the way I parent is the way you should parent. I mean, my blog is called One Alright Mom, do I really sound like someone who should be giving anyone advice? No. Frankly, I am in way over my head.

Do you need proof? Let's see... I just stopped my youngest child from eating sunblock. I didn't notice her pulling the sunblock out of the diaper bag, because I was too busy googling how to pull a medical staple out of my oldest son's head at home. Oh, and while all that was happening, my middle child, being the "helper" that he is, was peeing all over my kitchen floor. Yeah. I'm someone who should be giving out advice. Now, before you contact social services, you should know that my daughter did not consume any sunblock, my oldest son is going to the doctor this afternoon to have his staple removed by a medical professional, and my son's urine has been mopped up. Now we are all ready for the next round of insanity to ensue. Just fyi, my daughter spit up all over me while I was typing the last sentence.

That's really what this blog will be about. Weird, funny, stupid, ridiculous things that happen inside my out of control family. My goal is not to educate you, but maybe I can entertain you with my imperfect parenting, and fantastically strange brood. Basically, I am not the best mom in the world, but I am certainly not the worst. I'm  a lot like the rest of you. I'm just one alright mom. Wait, there are worse moms out there right?

Chyan