Hello, I am a giant weeping mess... I mean a mom

Is it just me, or do kids make you weak? I don't just mean physically weak, but they do that, too! I haven't had any measurable core strength since December of 2009. Okay, I think I may be partly to blame for that. This is not about exercise, core strength, or blasting your glutes. This post is about the fact that I haven't been able to go an entire week without crying since Jude was born! I used to be tough. I used to only cry over things that should be cried over. I didn't even cry at my wedding, and that is a perfectly acceptable occasion to cry.  Now, I am like a geyser of emotions.

Now, I don't want to give you the wrong idea. I am not in a constant state of sadness or anger. In fact, I have many different kinds of cries. I have shed tears of anger, tears of sadness, tears, of joy, tears of surprise, tears of confusion, tears of fear, tears of "this soldier just gave his family or dog a surprise homecoming" (I can't watch one of those videos without bawling), tears of overwhelming pride, tears of exhaustion, and tears of unconditional love. While reading this list, it may seem like most of my crying is warranted. Let me assure you, that is not always the case.

Last week, I was watching an episode of FRIENDS that I have seen infinity times, and I just started weeping! While crying, I had this insane thought: "Monica and Chandler just want a baby! Why can't things just work out for them? Why is life so unfair?!?!" Yup, I was bawling over a television show that aired it's season finale over ten years ago. Like I said, I have seen this episode before. I know what happens (SPOILER ALERT... but, if you haven't caught up yet on a show that started when I was in  Kindergarten, this kind of seems on you). I know they adopt twins shortly after this episode. I also know that Monica and Chandler are fictional characters! They never have, and never will, exist in real-life! Why, oh why, would I get so emotional over something so trivial?

I will give you three reasons why I have become the bawling basket case I am today: Jude, Gideon, and Abigail. Ever since I started having babies, my heart has become especially soft toward anything involving children, babies, and families. There are two photos here.One  I snapped a few months ago of Gideon pretending to read to Abby at my parent's house. The whole thing was so cute, and Giddy was being so incredibly sweet to his baby sister, that  I couldn't help but well up a bit. The other picture is of Jude at Discovery Club at church. It was his first time in a
classroom-like setting,  and he got an award for behaving so well!If you look closely, you may be able to see some of those tears of pride I mentioned.

Situations like this usually cause my eyes to silently (or mostly silently) well up and maybe shed just a few tears. However, there comes a time when I just need to full-on ugly cry. I try not to do this often, because it is so bad, but sometimes it just has to happen. Maybe "ugly" isn't the right word. My crying can turn hideous, messy, heinous, puffy, snotty, hysterical, and just down-right wretched! Sounds cute, right? I have never been a pretty crier, and honestly, I cannot understand how a person can cry, like really cry, and still look presentable. Are these pretty criers some sort of super-human/ mythical creature hybrid? Either way, I am jealous of their ability to cry and not look like a psychopath.

I guess I should just get used to the water works. Has anyone else turned into a sobbing softy since becoming a parent? Or am I just a weeping weirdo?

Chyan