I might do better next year

First off, it has been way to long since my last blog post. I have wanted to write. At one point I felt like I needed to write, but I have continued to find other ways to fill my time. After far too long of a break, I feel like it's time to start writing again. Maybe it's because I missed writing. Maybe it's because the holidays are over, and I feel like I can decompress a little more now. Maybe it's because I just finished Amy Poehler's book Yes Please, and I feel inspired. Yup, it's definitely  the last one. What can I say? I am easily influenced by awesome women.

Anyway, It's December 31st, and everyone is reflecting, making resolutions, and setting goals for themselves. I have never been great at the whole New Year's Resolution thing. Most people aren't. Year after year, 92% of us make these goals, then crash and burn only two weeks later.

Sometimes we fail because of fear. On New Years Day 2008, I made a resolution to be bold and tell my crush that I was interested in him. I was a freshman in college and he was a junior. What's the worst that could happen? I knew he was a nice guy. I knew that even if he wasn't into the idea, he would let me down gently. I got back to school, saw him, felt myself shrink to about 7 inches tall, and immediately decided that it was a stupid resolution. I then attempted to bury those ridiculous feelings as deep as humanly possible. The fear of being rejected was literally too much for me to bear. Thankfully, by fall 2008, things had worked out on their own, and Shane and I started dating. Now that I think about it, I don't think I have ever told him this story... I guess he can read it here... Hi Honey! I love you!

Sometimes our resolutions get thrown to the wayside because of laziness. Running a marathon seemed like a cool goal. But come on, there is no way I was actually going to run a marathon. I can't even bring myself to jog three times a week. I gave that one up after looking up training schedules and the work out regimen required to complete a physically demanding task like a marathon. 26.2 miles is really far, you guys!

On the rarest of occasions, we don't reach our goals because of circumstances beyond our control. The first New Years Shane and I celebrated as a married couple came about two weeks after we got married. I made a resolution to lose ten pounds of fat and get toned (I miss the days when I was only 10 pounds from my target weight). I did fantastic for about three weeks. I was getting up every morning and really seeing some progress. I was losing weight and feeling great! Then all of a sudden, I was incredibly sick. I would throw up off and on all day, until around 7 PM. Even with this random illness, I was still pushing myself to reach my goal. Weigh in day came, and I have gained three pounds from the last week! How did this happen? Well, apparently I was three weeks pregnant. Yup. I was pregnant with Jude. My honeymoon baby was due in late September. Instead of losing ten pounds, I gained around 50. Yikes. That first pregnancy really did a number on me.

Needless to say, I am not making a resolution this year. I am the worst at them. Instead of doing the whole charade, I am just going to look forward to 2015 with excitement and anticipation. Every year is different and awful and amazing in their own wonderful way. There is so much that can happen in a year. It's 365 mini adventures, and I am looking ahead with an open mind and open heart.

Good luck to all of you with goals and resolutions for this year! I would love to hear what they are, what your secret is to keeping your resolution, and how successful you've been in the past.



Happy New Year!

Prove it.

Abigail

About a week and a half ago,  I wrote a post about my daughter Abby letting everyone but me see her walk. I went on and on about how it had been five days since she took a step, and it wasn't fair that I am the one that spends all my time with her, so I should get to see all her milestones first... blah blah blah. It was basically an all around whiney post. Well, Abby decided that it would be hilarious to start taking steps in front of me only a few hours after I I claimed she might not ever allow me to see her walk. I was so ecstatic to see her walk, but I couldn't help but  think "You just wanted to prove me wrong."
That really got me to thinking. I hope my kids keep proving me wrong.

I am a pretty pessimistic person, by nature. I am a glass half-empty kind of gal. I don't mean to be, and I don't like that that's how I generally see things. It's something I'm trying to change, but it's a long row to hoe. Thankfully, I have an amazing husband who balances me out perfectly. Shane is a total optimist and dreamer. It's one of the things I love most about him. I worry, he dreams big, and we usually end up somewhere in the middle.

Gideon

Jude

It's the same with our parenting. I worry about our kids constantly. Shane sees all the great things our kids are doing, and only worries when there is actually something to worry about. I tend to forget that our kids are much more capable than I think. This results in me being wrong. A lot.  I don't know why I doubt their abilities. It really isn't a reflection on them. It's a reflection on my own lack of confidence in my parenting. I see a shy boy, because I didn't find him enough social interaction as a baby. I see a boy who can't keep interest for very long in anything, and it must be my fault. Basically, my entire day consists of me worrying that I have broken my kids in one way or another.

 When someone asks the boys a question that I don't think they can answer, my first thought is "Oh great, let's just see how little my kids know and how I am failing as their first and most important educator." Then the amazing happens. One or all of my little ones prove me wrong on a regular basis. Gideon sits through an entire sporting event. Jude initiates a game with kids at church. Abby walks right in front of me!

Sometimes I'm going to need my three brilliant, beautiful, hilariously wonderful kids to prove me wrong. So far, they have done so with gusto. I hope that never changes.

Chyan

5 days.

I am with my kids twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. It has been a point of pride for me. I like to be able to say I have seen every major and minor milestone each of my three children have accomplished. Well, that is, until last Sunday.

Shane, the kids, and I were all in the living room Sunday afternoon just relaxing and doing our own things. The boys were playing with toys, Shane was cuddling with Abby and watching t.v., and I was looking at all the great pictures I had recently captured of our kids. I am by no means a photographer, so any picture I can get that isn't blurry seems pretty great to me. It was a lovely, lazy afternoon.

It makes me want to cry, too!

After a little while, Shane put Abby on the floor to play. She then picked up a throw pillow and took two steps toward Shane. Her first steps!!! We knew she would be taking steps on her own soon, and Shane was worried she would start walking while he was at work. Imagine his excitement when she chose to take her first steps right in front of him! Really, it was in front of both of us.  What was I doing during this exciting moment, you ask? Well, stupid me was looking at the stupid pictures on my stupid phone. I was stupidly thinking that I should load those stupid pictures on to my stupid Facebook page. Looking back, none of those pictures were that good, anyway.

I was so happy Shane got to see her walk, but I was furious with myself for not paying attention. The rest of the afternoon, I tried to get Abby to walk for me. Nothing. Zilch. Zero. Nada.  That evening, Shane and I had a small group to go to, and the kids were at my parents' house. While I was at small group, I received a text that said "guess who just walked to her grandma?" Are you kidding me???? Is this some kind of cruel trick? Am I being punished? All I want is to see my daughter walk!

We got home, and still nothing. Monday came and went. Nothing. Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday passed and there was no pitter patter of her
perfectly chubby little feet. Now it's Friday. A full five days since her first steps. If I don't see Abigail walk today, I am going to lose my mind! I know she is doing this on purpose. She likes to see me frazzled. Her twelve month old mind has concocted this scheme to drive me to the brink of insanity. Irrational? I don't think so.

Maybe I should bait her with something.

Chyan

Why is it so hard to keep eggs in my house?

Have you ever been obsessed with something? Have either loved or hated something so much that it's all you can think about? It seems like you can't eat sleep or breath without every thought being consumed by this thing? When I was engaged,I became obsessed with being married. I wasn't as consumed with the  wedding, but the marriage itself.

Gideon has this obsession with eggs. He loves them. He loves the way they look. He loves the way they feel. He loves the way they taste. He loves that so many animals are hatched out of eggs (I'm pretty sure this is the number one reason Jude won't eat eggs). He also loves carrying eggs, and cracking eggs over my carpet. Because of this, eggs and carpet cleaner are always in short supply in this house. I am starting to think he just loves driving me insane.

crafthub.com

We cannot have a carton of eggs in the house with out Gideon losing all sense of self control. He will see me put a dozen eggs in the refrigerator, and it's like that's the only thing that his little mind can focus on. He knows that he is not allowed to get into the fridge by himself, and he is really not supposed to touch the eggs, but the tiny amount of self control a three year old has is completely gone when those white ovals are around. It becomes an intense game of cat and mouse. I have become very quick at getting to the refrigerator before the door is completely open, but sometimes Giddy works in super stealth mode, and is able to sneak an egg or two out of the kitchen and into the living room.

Once the egg(s) has been kidnapped from the cardboard habitat, there are three different things that could happen.

1. Gideon will be so excited about his conquest that he will just have to start clapping, and the eggs will be broken all over the carpet.
2. Gideon will decide that we wants to make a nest for his eggs, not be gentle enough, and the eggs will be broken all over the carpet. 
3. Gideon will be caught by me, panic, drop the eggs, and the eggs will be broken all over the carpet.

It's like a choose your own adventure book that always ends with me cleaning eggs off my son and out of the carpet fibers.  Even Jude thinks it's getting out of hand. I was doing laundry one day, and I could hear the boys talking in the kitchen. "Gideon, don't touch the eggs" Jude warns in an urgent tone (Jude being the voice of reason is just as alarming as whatever Gideon is doing). "What's going on out there?" I ask. "Um... Don't give Giddy time out, Mommy! Giddy, no eggs! Let's get outta here!"

I hurried into the kitchen just in time to see the boys hiding around the corner, and the refrigerator open. I asked Jude if Gideon was trying to play in the eggs. Jude looks at Gideon, and then throws his arms around me and says, "I love you, Mommy! You're my mommy in the whole world!"
Bros before moms, I suppose.

The shortest and longest year ever.

My baby girl turned one on Wednesday. Miss Abigail is now an entire year old! Wow, this year really flew by! Well, that's not entirely true. There were times when it seemed like this year would never end. I suppose moving three times (twice being cross country moves) will do that to you/

Somehow, even though the majority of this year moved at a glacial pace, Abby's first year of life raced away from me at a break-neck speed. How is that even possible? How can a baby change so much in just twelve short months? This is my third time watching one of my tiny babies turn one. I shouldn't be so shocked by growth and development, but I am.

Abigail went from being the most adorable newborn baby girl I had ever seen, to being a smart, feisty, and beautiful one year old. It is astounding to me that in just 365 days an infant can go from not being able to hold her own head up (in the words of Jim Gaffigan, "babies are so lazy"), to standing all on her own and building up the courage to take her first steps!

I think Abby's development is so impressive to me, because it's happening so differently than Jude and Gideon's did. At this age, both the boys said four or five words regularly. Abby, on the other hand, can say so many words! It's not just that she can mimic (the boys did a lot of mimicking at this age), but she can identify things and call them by name. I told you she was smart.  I know, I'm bragging... sorry, not sorry...

I think my favorite thing about Abby is her personality. Like I said earlier, she is so feisty! She can give her brothers a run for their money, and she's not afraid to get in on the silly and rough play. Just don't get on her bad side. She's not above using those six teeth! Abby is also more than okay with dramatically throwing herself on the ground and pretending to cry. Yeah. She's sweet, but she's also a bit of a diva. You've got to watch out for her, because she uses her whole cute and innocent thing to her advantage. Her eyes say it all. "Mommy, look at how little and cute I am. There's no way I unrolled all the toilet paper, took my diaper off, and pooped in the hall. It must have been one of those wild and crazy boys... that are nowhere near this huge mess" Those big eyes and long eyelashes say more than words ever could.


This little child is also so loved by her big brothers! It's amazing to watch a three and four year old have a baby sister who can mess up their games, knock over their towers, and bite them so hard, and love her so unconditionally! That might be my favorite part of our family dynamic. I heard that older brothers are instinctively protective of little sisters, and I guess it's true. It really is sweet to see all three of my little nuggies interact.


I love my silly, sweet, beautiful baby girl! I am so thankful for such a darling daughter. She really does make our family complete. I cannot imagine life without her. The past year has been such a joy, and I can't wait see what the next year has in store!

Chyan
PS. Have a fun and safe Halloween!

Interview with a 4 year old. Christmas list edition

Jude and I have this game we play. One of us asks the other one a whole bunch of questions. The other person answers the questions. Basically, we are just having a conversation, but we like to pretend it's an interview.

Jude and I were playing interview last night. I was asking him a series of questions, and he was giving me awesome four year old answers. It was too cute not to share!

Christmas is always a popular topic in our house. Here's the part of the conversation that revolved around Christmas presents.

Me: Jude, what do you think we should get Daddy for Christmas?

Jude: I want.. hmmm. I know! TOYS!

Me: I know you want toys, but what should we get Daddy? What kinds of things would Daddy like for presents?

Jude: Soda! Daddy likes soda! He drinks it, and it goes in his tummy, and he says "mmm. Delicious!"

Me: That's a good point! What else do you think Daddy would like for Christmas?

Jude: Maybe like a cartoon, he likes to watch cartoons with me. Daddy can read. Get him things for reading. And a toy.  Something spooky for Halloween. And some guy fruits.

Me: What are guy fruits?

Jude: Like... guy strawberries, guy cherries, and guy watermelon. And apple pie

Me: Oh I see. Okay, well what do you think we should get for Giddy for Christmas?

image credit: dreamtime.com

Jude: Mommy, I want toys okay?

Me: I know Jude. I didn't forget. It's just nice and fun to get other people presents, too. Okay?

Jude: Okay.

Me: What should we get Giddy for Christmas?

Jude: Two toys.

Me: Two toys? what should the toys be?

Jude: A lot of race car toys.

Me: Aw, Jude! That's a nice idea. Giddy loves to play with his race cars and race track!

Jude: Aaaannnnd VeggieTales' Bob the Tomato and Larry the Cucumber VeggieTales toys.

Me: Okay

Jude: And a Disney Junior Jake and the Neverland Pirates book. And that's all.

Me: What about Abby? What should Abby get?

Jude: Just baby toys.

Me: Well, what are good toys to give babies?

Jude: Just toy food and a baby doll toy.

Me: Okay. Anything else?

Jude: She likes baby bath toys for baths. And a bowling ball!

Me: You think Abby needs a bowling ball?

Jude: Yeah! Come on, Mommy! It will be fun!

Me: (After a fit of laughter) Okay. Here's a hard one for you. What should Mommy get for Christmas?

Jude: Just... like... a box.

Me: A box?

Jude: Yeah. And you and Abby share girl food. You can eat it and it can go down in your tummy and you say "mmm. Delicious!"

Me: Girl food? What's that?

Jude: Apple pie

(So I get an empty box and a pie that I have to share? Thanks a lot, buddy.)

This kid is a hoot! I have no idea why food is being categorized as "girl" and "guy," but I can tell you that all the "guy fruits" are his favorite fruits. He eats them, and they go down in his tummy, and he says "mmm. Delicious!" Apparently, he also has apple pie on the brain.

Another thing you may have noticed, is that Jude is very specific about certain things. It's not just Jake and the Neverland Pirates. It's Disney Junior's Jake and the Neverland Pirates. It's not just Bob and Larry toys. It's VeggieTales' Bob the Tomato and Larry the Cucumber VeggieTales toys. When Frozen is on, he is not just watching "Froyen." He is watching "Disney's Froyen."

Jude is just one of those kids that is so dead serious and literal about things, that he doesn't realize how hilarious he is to the rest of us.

Chyan

Beautiful and weird little minds

Let's do a little experiment, shall we? Imagine we are talking about different kinds of animals, and their characteristics. Now imagine I ask you, "what kind of animals can swim in the water?" What do you think your answer would be? Fish? Shark? Dolphin? Maybe  whale or octopus? All these answers are correct, and probably the most common and obvious answers. Well, at least they are the most common among adults

How did my children answer this question? Gideon said that ducks could swim. He is right, and I don't know why I was surprised by his answer. Water fowl is often found in lakes and ponds. Gideon loves birds.  Of course ducks should be right up there with other top answers. Why did I not think of that? I loved that his answer was just a little outside the box

image source: pinterest/ebay

Jude answer threw me for an even bigger loop. If Gideon's answer was a little outside the box, Jude's wasn't even aquatinted with the box. What was Jude's answer? Elephants.  I was blown away! Yes, elephants do swim. In fact after Jude said that, I spent fifteen minutes online looking at pictures of elephants swimming under water. I have to tell you, it is absolutely breathtaking (I didn't include a picture, because of copyright laws. So you got the eleduck instead). I told Jude that I really liked his answer (and that he was right), but I was just wondering why he gave the answer he did. He just said that he liked that elephants could swim, and he also liked their "trunk noses" and that their trunk noses can be loud and scoop up water to drink. "Oh! And bears can climb trees!"* Wow. He just really liked that elephants could swim, so he remembered that. He deemed elephant a more acceptable answer than fish, because it was more interesting to him.

I asked the boys if they could think of any other animals that could swim. Jude said hippos, and Giddy's second answer, accompanied by some pretty adorable motions, was octopus.  For the record, it took going through four or five more animals before either of them said fish. I have to say, I loved that the most common answer was not anywhere near either of their first answers. I love how their creative, and seemingly odd, minds work! It breaks my heart to think that one day, they might think that giving the most common answer is better than giving a more unique, equally correct, answer. I hope to foster the idea that the elephant and duck answers in life are just as valid as the fish answers. Maybe we could all use a few more not-so-common solutions.

Chyan

*By the way, I realize the bear thing has nothing to do with any of this. I just thought it was really cute, (and this is my blog) so that's why it's a part of the story.*